Funniest And Most Offensive Thing I’m Likely To Read This Week
Hilary Clinton is to the Democratic Party as Stacy was To Wayne in Wayne’s World. The crazy ex-girlfriend:
It’s 2:31 AM. The Democratic Party is sleeping peacefully when it hears its phone buzz on the night stand. It rolls over and sees “Hillary” on the caller ID. It pauses briefly, considering pushing “END” and not dealing with this shit tonight. The thought is appealing but the Democratic Party knows that if it doesn’t take this call, another one is only minutes away.
DEMS: …Hello?
Hillary: Hey baby.
DEMS: C’mon Hillary. Enough with this.
Hillary: Don’t you get it? You NEED me.
DEMS: No, I don’t. It was fun while it lasted but I’m with Barack now. I made my choice, it’s done.
Hillary: You can’t really mean that. How can you say that after all the good times we had?
DEMS: To be honest, I started hanging out with you because Bill’s pretty awesome.
Hillary: But I’m just like Bill!
DEMS: No, you’re not. Bill is charismatic, inspiring, and gets me really good weed.
Hillary: Fuck you. You’re elitist!
DEMS: I’m going back to sleep.
I have no idea who I will (or would) support in the general election, but that right there perfectly captures my view of HRC. One she’s earned.
