Hiding Yourself

Yesterday we got a letter from our realtor in B’ham. He had discovered that the house needed some minor, but emergency, work. Good realtor that he is, he found someone to do it, paid for it so as to get it done asap, and then sent us a copy of the receipt along with a copy of the check he’d written to pay for the work. We then reimbursed him. We noted, though, that his check was in his and his partner’s name.

Not a business partner, but a life partner. Now we knew from the first time we met him that our realtor was almost certainly gay. We also like him. He’s a good realtor, but also just a fun person. The first meetings we had with him at our house lasted a couple of hours each, mostly because the conversations often wandered. Every other time we’ve seen him has also involved pleasant conversations. So when we looked at the check we both thought it was weird that he’d never mentioned his partner.

Why not? Well, I’m not going to ask him, but my guess is that if you’re gay, even today, the best business practice is to keep it to yourself. Never mind the folks who explicitly despise homosexuals, how many times have you heard someone say “I don’t mind the gays, as long as they don’t go flaunting it around everywhere?” If you’re a gay business person, you never know when you might be dealing with someone like that. Best to just hide yourself, then.

I know, I know, this doesn’t seem like a big deal. But over the next day or so, pay attention to how many times you mention your significant other in a conversation. Then think about having to censor those references in every conversation. I’m not the world’s most romantic guy, still, that would make even me feel like fraud.

Explore posts in the same categories: The Homosexual Agenda

6 Comments on “Hiding Yourself”

  1. Kathy Says:

    This type situation is what I think of every time Bill O’Reilly goes off on one of his stupid rants about how he has nothing against gays as long as they don’t rub it in his face. Mentioning a same-gender partner is no more flaunting it around everywhere than my mentioning my husband and children. It’s a lot more circumspect than calling up a co-worker and jerking off while you talk about having sex with her.

    It is so sad that your realtor and other gay people still have to fear crap like that.

  2. Dan Says:

    It sucks that financial self interest has to trump personal self interest in this situation. By the way, can you change the link to me to Daily Dixie (http://www.dailydixie.com).


  3. tere Says:

    I just stumbled across this post this afternoon, and though it’s an older post, I’m going to respond anyway.

    I’m a middle-aged speech therapist working with disabled children and elderly people in their homes. I pay taxes, I rescue mistreated animals, I host song circles and writing groups, I teach classes in neurological disorders. I contribute to this world and this life more than some and less than others.

    I’m also married (in some countries) to my wife and partner of 15 years. I have a mortgage which states that T, a single woman, and L, a single woman, are purchasing a home together (but separately, by law). I have health insurance through my partner, but we have to pay taxes on it as income because our relationship does not legally exist. She and I will never benefit from each other’s pensions after retirement, because again, our relationship does not have the legal standing automatically granted by marriage. We can make medical decisions for each other, as long as noone in our biological families objects, because we made those arrangements with the help of a lawyer. However, we’d better have those papers in hand in the event of a medical emergency, because otherwise our wishes might or might not be honored, at the discretion of the medical personnel involved.

    I am an adult and I have made choices that I honor and stand by. And yet, to protect my professional life, I cannot be myself, participating in the normal conversational disclosures that my busy clients and colleagues take for granted. My colleagues and clients rarely ask the ordinary questions about my life and my family that one would expect, even while they are benefitting from my skill, my patience and my sensitivity.

    I am intelligent, well educated and capable of deciding who I am and how I will live in this world. And that, my dears, is the “Homosexual Agenda”. Nothing to do with y’all.

    Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Nice blog, by the way.

  4. wheeler Says:

    “Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.”

    my pleasure. that’s powerful. i may move that up to the front page, if it’s o.k.

  5. tere Says:

    Thank you, wheeler. My initial impulse was to dodge and hide, very much in keeping with the topic at hand. On reflection, though, I’ve decided to link back to my personal blog.

  6. ATodd Says:

    She made a lot of great points. I know what she is going through. When we purchased our house and it said A single womand, and S single woman..it broke my heart. This huge step meant so much to us, but it sucked to see those words “single woman” on our mortgage papers. I feel ya T, I feel ya!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: