“Vogue” Is The Ninth Gayest Song Of All Time

According to this list, anyway.

Not sure what the criteria are, but the song I think is the gayest of all time is in the Baptist Hymnal: “In the Garden.” If you aren’t familiar with it, here’s the first verse and the chorus:

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses

And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

It gets worse in verse two:

He speaks and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing

I don’t care if “He” is actually God; no hetero man can sing that song and retain even an ounce of manliness. Gardens and dew and melodious voices, add perfumed silk sheets and rose petals and the result is a perfect romance novel. Gay.Gay.Gay.G-A-Y.Gay.

Never again having to sing stuff like that is why I became Catholic.

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11 Comments on ““Vogue” Is The Ninth Gayest Song Of All Time”

  1. step sister Says:

    I’m confused… Melissa Etheridge didn’t even make the list… hello!! Come to my Window…I’m the Only One…that list was compiled by a bunch of gay guys. Not so sure I would ever ad a Baptist hym to the list though Wheeler 🙂

  2. wheeler Says:

    oooh,, i didn’t even notice her absence. i figured you’d appreciate vogue, though i can think of one person at least who may be shocked.

  3. the other teacher in the family... Says:

    Gay or not…it is still an AWESOME song!!

  4. the other teacher in the family... Says:

    I was referring to Vogue…not “In the Garden”

  5. Joe Says:

    Hook ups in the garden can be at least as good as the song (self disclosure). You are right, Wheeler. Maybe that song is part of what leads so many gay men to become Baptist Choir directors.

  6. wheeler Says:

    “Maybe that song is part of what leads so many gay men to become Baptist Choir directors.”

    hilarious. i can remember a few of those. one in particular, though it was his ties more than the music that gave it away.

  7. step sister Says:

    lol wheeler…I remember him too!!!

  8. justywayne Says:

    wow what is with all the homophobia? I thoughbt Christians were about loving one another.

  9. wheeler Says:

    uhhh, there’s been at least two gay people commenting here.

  10. travelliz Says:

    I love that this post made it to the top of the “Religion” category on my login page. I was preparing for a totally different post when I clicked on it to see what was up!

  11. Step Sister Says:

    I’m confused… who was being homophobic justywayne?


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