Forget The Trial, Throw Him In The Hudson And See If He Sinks

Oh. My. God. If this happens, it will be the most asinine, ridiculous, stupendously stupid prosecution ever:

The Yankees officially reversed the jersey curse yesterday — extracting from the new stadium’s concrete a David Ortiz shirt planted by a Red Sox-obsessed hardhat hoping to hex his team’s arch rivals.

Then they warned the traitorous construction worker, Gino Castignoli, to watch his back, saying criminal and civil charges could be on deck.

Trost speculated that Castignoli could be on the hook for criminal mischief.

A spokesman for the Bronx district attorney said, “We can’t speculate” on possible charges.

Trost said that even if Castignoli ends up safe from charges, “we’re thinking of a civil case, looking for money damages.”

Yesterday’s excavation alone cost the team $50,000, Trost said, even though the actual digging took two workers just 15 minutes.

Are you kidding me? So you’re telling me that if I hired some voodoo magician to put bad mojo on Nick Saban prior to next year’s Alabama-LSU game, and then Satan went and dropped 50k on a counter hex, I’d somehow be civilly and criminally responsible for his insane belief in the occult? That is absurd. He spent the money because he’s insane, not because of my silly joke.

At worst, this Castignoli guy committed a technical trespass, one with zero damages. That jersey, left alone, could in no way have caused any cognizable injury to the Yankees. Had the Yankees acted rationally, they would have suffered absolutely no harm. Instead they spent 50k trying to undue a “hex.” If they want to waste money because they believe in fairy tails, that’s fine, but let’s not waste government resources protecting them from the consequences of their own stupidity.

As an aside, which was the biggest waste, the 50k to remove the jersey, or the money spent on A-Rod hoping he’d lead them to a World Series?

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