My Dog Is A Shameless Hussy

Which is fairly common:

Country songs are filled with anguished lyrics about cheating wives and husbands. But sometimes it’s not always people who are doing the leaving and breaking hearts. Dogs and cats can also cheat on their owners, leaving their own homes in pursuit of something better, or different. And perhaps more painfully, some pets carry on affairs right under their owner’s nose.

The latter would be my dog and my neighbor. Or anyone who will pet her, really. She’s an extremely needy dog. It’s not like she gets no affection here. I take care of my dog, and the kids love her. She just can’t get enough attention. If you ever come to my house and make the mistake of petting her, she’ll be glued to your side for the rest of the time you’re here. She won’t bark at you, she won’t lick you or jump on you, but you will have to look at her pathetic brown eyes staring at you. She’s very passive aggressive.

The neighbor is the worst, because she gives the dog milk bones. So every time the neighbor’s car pulls into her driveway, Allie’s tail starts wagging, and if we’re outside, she takes off for the fence between our yards to obediently wait for my neighbor. And if my neighbor comes into our yard, I might as well not exist.

I know all this, so it doesn’t bother my that my dog is less than fiercely loyal to me. Besides, I have a cat who is. Whenever we’ve been tempted to get rid of Merton, the big reason we don’t is because he would never be able to live with anyone else. I’m the only person he tolerates. He’s not a nice cat. He is pretty, though.

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