Things I’d Rather Do Than Go To In-Service Training

One of the worst parts about teaching is that on several days throughout the year when the students are out of school, the teachers have to report for a full day or two of “in service training.” Now, that isn’t work. I’d be fine if we had normal school for these days, or if I could use the time to prepare for classes. Instead, you have to sit all day and listen to someone babble about something they heard at some conference and that is either total b.s., or that you either already know or that you could never use. Complete and utter waste of time.

Anyway, we have a few of these in the next week or so. What follows is a list of things I’d rather do than attend the in-services. The list of alternatives gets worse as it gets closer to number one. That is, at number ten is something I’d rather do than just about anything. By the time it reaches the top, though, you’ll have a good idea of just how much I hate these things. So, instead of going to the in-services, I would rather . . .

10. Get up early, load up the mountain bike, and go ride all day. Going to work, even to a job I enjoy, is tough when the skies are blue and the morning temperature is in the fifties. With the fall weather, it really seems like a sin to sit in a stupid meeting all day when I could be on the trails.

9. Go for a road bike ride, get two flats, caught in the rain, and stuck fighting a 25 mph headwind all the way home.

8. Teach a regular day of classes. I like my job. This would be 10 or 9, but I’d rather be riding that just about anything. As for it being worse than number 9, it’s a corollary of the “bad day fishing beats a good day at work” principle.

7. Watch my kids by myself all day. I love my kids, but I’m the Dad.

6. Watch Dr. Who while I’m sober. (Note, this would not be painful if it was one of the episodes with Freema Agyeman. Dr. Martha Jones is super fine.)

5. Whether sober or not, have my eyes held open like in Clockwork Orange and be forced to watch The Bucket List on repeat.

4. Tie: Have a root canal without novocaine. Or eat a yak eyeball.

3. Be “savaged by a dead sheep.”

2. Cover myself in syrup and lie on top of a fire ant bed.

And finally, something so atrociously horrible, so unbelievably annoying, so shockingly irritating that no rational person could possibly endure it. So bad even Dick Cheney would have to call it torture. Yet I would still choose this over spending a day listening to some non-teacher tell me how they think I ought to do my job . . .

1. Listen to an entire Sarah Palin speech.

Explore posts in the same categories: POTUS '08, Teaching

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