Update On My Attempt To Purge Twilight From My Conscious Memory

I’ve made a good dent in my list of vampire movies. (Not quite as big a dent as I’d planned because From Dusk Till Dawn led to a month of Quentin Tarantino movies.) All have been good. I want to say “much better than Twilight.” But that implies Twilight was in some way good. Sitting in a dark room by yourself for two hours would be better than Twilight. Anyway I thought I’d rank the ones we’ve watched thus far.. . .

Nosferatu. I think this is the first silent movie I’ve ever watched. It took a few minutes to adjust, after that I enjoyed the heck out of it. I guess they’re making up for the lack of dialogue by doing it, but the actors facial expressions are hilariously overdone. It’s awesome. Nosferatu himself is probably the coolest looking vampire on the list. He looks like a seven foot tall Yoda.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Watched this last night. One word: Cheesy. However, unlike Twilight, which was cheesy but thought it was sublime and therefore became pretentious crap, Buffy embraced it’s cheesiness and therefore became great. I need to watch it again, because this movie had an amazing number of fantastic lines. (“I wasn’t born to kill vampires. I was born to shop.”) For quotability, Buffy is in Oh Brother Where Art Thou territory. The cast also made it great. What could be funnier than Pee Wee Herman as a vampire?

Underworld: If the vampire in Twighlight was Kate Beckinsale in a cat-womanish leather outfit I would watch Twighlight again.

Underworld: Evolution. What’s hotter than Kate Beckinsale in leather? Kate Beckinsale NOT in leather.

From Dusk Till Dawn. Best Vampire movie. Best Quentin Tarantino movie. One of the best movies I’ve ever seen. The first half is dark, serious and vampire free. It reminded me of No Country for Old Men or even Natural Born Killers. The second half is an unbelievably over the top Tarantino gore fest hilarious in its conscious incorporation and mocking of all kinds of action flicks. You have to see it to believe it. Oh, and Selma Hayek – the most smoking hot woman on the face of the Earth (other than my wife, of course) – doing a strip tease before turning into a vampire monster doesn’t hurt, either.

We still have a few to go, so I’m sure I’ll update this list.

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One Comment on “Update On My Attempt To Purge Twilight From My Conscious Memory”

  1. KC Says:


    did you ever see the Nosferatu released in the late 70’s…it was filmed in Germany, and the cinematography was outstanding…if you haven’t seen it , and you get the chance…do so

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