Archive for January 2010

Brought To You By The Makers Of The Holy Hand Grenade Of Antioch

January 19, 2010

Crusade? What crusade? Oh.

Coded references to New Testament Bible passages about Jesus Christ are inscribed on high-powered rifle sights provided to the U.S. military by a Michigan company, an ABC News investigation has found.

The sights are used by U.S. troops in Iraq and Afghanistan and in the training of Iraqi and Afghan soldiers. The maker of the sights, Trijicon, has a $660 million multi-year contract to provide up to 800,000 sights to the Marine Corps, and additional contracts to provide sights to the U.S. Army.

What did these guys do? Have brain farting storming session about the best ways to piss off the locals and fire up the Al Qaeda recruitment centers? What’s next, camouflage versions of the Knights Templar? Unbelievable.

Aside from the military problems this causes, how about the choice of verses:

One of the citations on the gun sights, 2COR4:6, is an apparent reference to Second Corinthians 4:6 of the New Testament, which reads: “For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”

Other references include citations from the books of Revelation, Matthew and John dealing with Jesus as “the light of the world.” John 8:12, referred to on the gun sights as JN8:12, reads, “Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

“I smite thee with my high powered rifle in Christian Love.” That’s just creepy. If your gonna biblicize your killing machine, at least pick an appropriate verse, like one from the conquest of Jericho:

They devoted the city to the LORD and destroyed with the sword every living thing in it—men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep and donkeys.

You don’t even need to go Old Testament. Jesus kills most of the world in Revelation. And of course, like many of his followers, apparently, he “did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Even so, I’d go Old Testament style with the QT version of Ezekiel 25:17:

P.S. If you’ve been living in a cave (in Afghanistan or elsewhere), here’s the title reference:

Take Care Of Robertson And Haiti At The Same Time

January 18, 2010

Bid on the Pat Robertson Voodoo doll. All proceeds go to relief efforts.

If Pat Robertson Truly Speaks For God, I’ll Take The Devil

January 14, 2010

The victim (and many others at the link):

The blame:

“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it,” he said on Christian Broadcasting Network’s “The 700 Club.” “They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it’s a deal.”

Robertson ain’t the only asshole, either.

Let’s assume everything Robertson said is true. God is killing innocent children today because two centuries ago Satan helped a nation of slaves gain their freedom. Who sounds like the bad guy in that sentence?

I’ve never met God; some of those who have make me glad of it.

Good Questions

January 13, 2010

Which news item this week was less predictable, that Palin was hired by Fox News or that Mark McGwire took steroids?

Not quite the headline as those two, but I’d add Blake Griffin – chosen first in last spring’s draft by the LA Clippers – blowing out his knee and missing the rest of his rookie season. Why was this so predictable? Well, here’s an e-mail Bill Simmons ran in a mailbag just prior to the draft:

Q: Now that the Clips have secured the No. 1 pick and proclaimed their intentions, we have been arguing about which one of us will go first. I, Left ACL, think it will be me because I’m his dominant leg, but Right ACL thinks it will be him because Blake jumps off him more than he does me. Blake’s Will to Live walked by and overheard our argument. He said he and Blake’s All-Star Potential had been lamenting the fact that they’re both screwed as well. I guess we’re all in pretty bad shape. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Blake’s Work Ethic all day, though I heard he was trying to look up a phone number for Josh Childress’ ‘Fro. Something about dollar-to-Euro exchange rates.
— Blake Griffin’s Left ACL, Oklahoma

And here’s Simmons’ response:

SG: You know what’s really frightening? At least 15 readers thought of the “Blake Griffin is so screwed by going to the Clippers that I’m going to send Simmons a fake e-mail from Griffin’s knees” idea independently of one another. Ladies and gentlemen, your Los Angeles Clippers!!!!

Ouch.

Stupid Quote Of The Day

January 12, 2010

TOPS is a scholarship program providing money to Louisiana students who attend Louisiana state colleges. It’s completely merit based: Graduate with a 2.5 and score above the state ACT average (20) and the state pays your tuition. Recently, in order to create short terms savings and long term costs, some bureaucrats proposed eliminating or capping it. Here’s what one of the bureaucrats had to say in support of the cuts:

Louisiana Postsecondary Education Review Commission member David Longanecker argued that the Taylor Opportunity Program for Students has largely become the program “all the white folks get,” despite the state’s financial crunch.

Even more amazing than the blatant racism? The guy is president of something called the Western Interstate Commision for Higher Education, located in Colorado. So he’s a consultant we paid to provide that amazing insight. It might not be much, but I can think of at least one easy way to save some money.

Mac’s First Basketball Game

January 11, 2010

He’s number 55:

We’re Back And I’m Running In The Snow

January 4, 2010

So we had a great vacation in an area of the country we expected to be cold and snowy. I didn’t even bother brining my running shoes on the trip. That doesn’t mean I was a total couch potato. I went for a mountain bike ride that featured a five mile climb on a clear paved road that turned into a clear dirt road that finished as a snowy muddy road. I also joined a bear hunt that probably covered seven or eight mountainous miles before successfully killing a 405 pound bear. (Friday, we ate part of him – in the form of barbeque – with collard greens and black eyed peas; if that doesn’t bring good fortune in 2010, I don’t know what will.) Still, due to the weather, we spend most of the time indoors. That was fine; I’d expected it.

Now we’re home, and when I got up this morning for my run, not only was it colder than a witch’s titty, it was friggin’ snowing! And the high for the entire week is forty five. What the hell? This is the South. It’s supposed to be warm. Nice winters are why we endure July and August. With weather like this, we might as well live in Wapwallopen.