Archive for May 15, 2010

Why People Think Southerners Are Stupid

May 15, 2010

So there’s a goober election in one of my former home states: Alabama. One of the Republican candidates is Roy Moore (he’s like a bad penny). With nothing but his fifteen minutes of infamy on which to run, all he can do is attack the religious beliefs of his opponents, which he does in this ad accusing Bradley Byrne of – horrors – believing in evolution.

If you’re not from the South, you probably expect Byrne to respond as would any person with at least an eighth grade education, by pointing out: 1) Of course he believes in evolution, as does every other rational person in the world, and 2) his religious beliefs are really no one’s business. If you are a thinking person from the South, though, you know such a response would immediately end his candidacy. Hence, the following:

“As a Christian and as a public servant, I have never wavered in my belief that this world and everything in it is a masterpiece created by the hands of God,” [Byrne] said. “As a member of the Alabama Board of Education, the record clearly shows that I fought to ensure the teaching of creationism in our school text books. Those who attack me have distorted, twisted and misrepresented my comments and are spewing utter lies to the people of this state.”

“My opponent accused me of being an intelligent person. The truth is, dear sheeple, I am just as backwards and ignorant as him! Not only that, I fought to make our state’s children just as ignorant!” And in Southern politics, that’s a GOOD thing. They’re fighting over who is the dumbest. The winner gets to be governor.

Meanwhile, the few of us who live in the reality-based community hang our heads in shame.