Time To Invoke Couch Potato Outdoorsman Rule

I say that as I return from a mountain bike ride during which I had to slow down, or even dismount, several times in order to go around, or yield to, much slower parties. Only a few weeks ago, I could do this same route (my house-Stoner-downtown-back) without seeing more than two or three other people riding, running or walking. The difference, of course, is the weather. A month ago the temps would still be in the upper nineties, even in the evenings. Today? Perfect: seventy and sunny. The nice weather has brought out the couch potatoes, clogging parks, bike paths and mountain bike trails.

This brings me to my rule: You can go to local parks, and similar outdoor areas, the same amount of nice days as you went on crappy days. For each day you go outside for more than an hour when the temps are below fifty or above ninety, that’s an hour you can go outside when the temps are between fifty and ninety.

In other words, all those fatties I saw today, who have not stepped outside since last April, ought to have stayed home tonight, giving me, a guy who has consistently ridden throughout the horrible summer heat, the full enjoyment of the now perfect weather. I’ve earned the right to enjoy it; they’ve sat around in the a/c eating potato chips and waiting for a time when the inside and outside temps are the same. I say, if all you want is climate controlled temps, then stay inside and out of my way. Ditto next spring. If you aren’t outside in January, then stay inside in April.

Am I being an ass? Sure. But I’d apply the same rule to myself, or the converse, anyway. The one that has to do with gyms. Those who don’t go when the weather is nice – me, for one – should quit clogging the machines post New Years. Let the real fitness freaks have their space.

The same logic applies to Church services. When Christmas and Easter arrive, the choice seats ought to go to the people who’ve attended the most services over the whole year. Only show up for those two days? Stand in the back until everyone else has a seat. I’d be standing, and that’s the way it should be.

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2 Comments on “Time To Invoke Couch Potato Outdoorsman Rule”

  1. Becky York Says:

    This is Becky York (Laura Brownstein’s mom). I love your blog. I try to read it every day. You have a beautiful family! You say the most profound things that really make me think. I also get some really good laughs, too. So, thanks so much for putting some things out there to make me use my brain cells.

  2. wheeler Says:

    ha! now i feel bad for all the bad words.

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