Archive for the ‘Goobers’ category

Stupid Quote Of The Day

January 12, 2010

TOPS is a scholarship program providing money to Louisiana students who attend Louisiana state colleges. It’s completely merit based: Graduate with a 2.5 and score above the state ACT average (20) and the state pays your tuition. Recently, in order to create short terms savings and long term costs, some bureaucrats proposed eliminating or capping it. Here’s what one of the bureaucrats had to say in support of the cuts:

Louisiana Postsecondary Education Review Commission member David Longanecker argued that the Taylor Opportunity Program for Students has largely become the program “all the white folks get,” despite the state’s financial crunch.

Even more amazing than the blatant racism? The guy is president of something called the Western Interstate Commision for Higher Education, located in Colorado. So he’s a consultant we paid to provide that amazing insight. It might not be much, but I can think of at least one easy way to save some money.

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Ron Webb Is An Asshole

December 13, 2009

What a douche:

Shreveport Councilman Ron Webb on Friday drew the ire of residents who took offense to his comment about denying funding to an organization he considers gay friendly.

During a workshop on the city’s 2010 budget this week, Webb said he didn’t want to give Robinson Film Center additional money. He had talked with organization leader Sylvia Goodman and told her so.

“I had her an additional $25,000 to put on this list, and I removed it,” Webb said Monday. “The reason why I did is it bothered me that they supported gay and lesbian rights.”

Here’s his e-mail clarifying his bigotry:

“I was elected to represent the majority of my district. It may not be politically correct, and some folks may choose to be offended because they didn’t get their way. But I stand by my decision to stand with my constituents. Special interest groups should not override the interests of the majority to promote their agenda with the people’s tax dollars.”

A few things here.

One, I have issues with using tax dollars to fund things like theaters. We have too many potholes and too many crimes for that. But once you decide to throw around money, you need to do it equitably. “There be gays there” just isn’t a legitimate reason to deny funding; no more than “there be coloreds there” would be a legitimate reason to deny funding.

Two, at least Webb is honest. I much prefer open bigots to ones who hide behind neutral sounding principles in which they do not really believe.

Three, he’s probably right about his constituents. I grew up in the area he now represents. It’s populated by poorly educated white trash bible thumpers. I say that in Christian love, of course. Still, if I had to choose being doing what’s right and pleasing an ignorant mob, I’d like to think I’d do what’s right. I, though, am not a city councilman.

Four, good for the rest of the council:

Council Chairwoman Joyce Bowman distanced herself and the rest of the board from Webb’s comments. “Those statements are Councilman Webb’s alone, not the view of the entire council.”

Let’s hope, in spite of what Webb thinks, they aren’t the view of most people, either. Surely even Shreveport can move beyond this type of foolishness.

And finally, any bets on how long until Webb becomes involved in a gay s&m scandal with a city council intern?

Drunken Middle Aged Wanna Be Artists Terrorizing Sam’s Club Shopping Plaza!

December 11, 2009

So this new business wants to open in one of the shopping centers at Youree and 70th:

Looking for a fun evening out while creating your own masterpiece?

We have the answer! Come alone or grab a friend or two, your favorite bottle of wine or beverage, and paint a picture along with a local artist.

Join us for an evening of creativity and camaraderie. We’ll provide your paint, canvas and brushes and you’ll have a fun evening with friends. Plus, at the end of the evening, you’ ll have a one-of-a-kind creation and, hopefully, a newfound talent you’ll want to explore!

Think it’s beyond you? Our instructor will guide you through each step of recreating the featured picture, and you’ll have painlessly created a piece of art before you know it.

Would I patronize this business even at the  barrel of a gun? No. Is it an innocuous attempt to make a little money by providing a new type of service to the consumers in the city? Sure.

Yet even though this business could not possibly bother anyone, the busybody teetotalers came out in force to oppose the required zoning change for the store.

City Council on Tuesday approved a zoning board decision — amid protests from a nearby residential neighborhood — to let the local Painting with a Twist franchise serve beer and wine while patrons get creative. The business should open in February in University Place Shopping Center at Youree Drive at East 70th Street, owner Jean Beauclair said.

Alcohol was the main issue for most opponents, residents of nearby University Terrace. The next step for challengers would be a lawsuit. . . .

“I’m concerned mainly about safety,” said Caddo Commissioner Mike Thibodeaux, who lives in University Terrace and represents the area, which already has a lot of foot and vehicle traffic.

“You’re putting yourself at risk by allowing an additional factor for someone that may be coming out. Especially if there’s nothing to eat there.”

Good lord. Look, let’s be clear: The only thing anyone who opposes this is concerned about is alcohol. They’re teetotalers who can’t stand or imagine the thought of anyone, anywhere enjoying a drink.

As far as traffic goes, there is no way one store is going to increase traffic through that neighborhood. For one, already on that same corner are big boxes like Target, Circuit City, Sam’s Club, Lowes, Dick’s, Barnes & Noble, Old Navy and all the other symbiotic stores usually found in those habitats. This is shopping central in Shreveport. The new patrons will not be noticeable. Besides, this business just replaces another, so the none of traffic will be new.

The foot traffic thing is ridiculous. You can’t walk from one store to another over there, never mind into the neighborhood behind the center. No roads connect the two. You’d either have to hop a fence, cross a bayou and hop another fence or risk your life by walking on 70th street west for a bit until you reach the neighborhood entrance. Can you see some forty five year old upper middle class woman carrying an oil painting while tromping down 70th in high heals? Me either.

And as for not wanting alcohol being an “additional factor,” within this same shopping district are at least five restaurants that have real bars in them. Again, a few old women having a few glasses of wine is not going to materially contribute the “risk” created by places like Buffalo Wild Wings or TGI Fridays.

In short, there’s no legitimate reason to oppose this business. Those who do oppose it have too much time on their hands and too high an opinion of themselves.

Why I Don’t Trust The Teabaggers

December 10, 2009

On the way to the store Saturday afternoon we saw some of the locals – about ten or fifteen – standing near the intersection of Southfield and Youree. The goofy signs I saw all had something to do with taxes or debt or healthcare.

My first thought was: “Losers.” I mean, of all the things in this country to protest about, health care is what makes you stand on the side of the road?

The second thought was: “If I thought their cries of ‘liberty,’ vel sim, were at all sincere, I might give them a hearing.” But they’re full of shit.They don’t care about liberty, or freedom, or anything else. Those are just pretexts for policy desires.

Now today, I read a story about some kook in California who is attempting to use the initiative process to pass a law that would force schools to make kids sing Christmas carols. Not only that, but it would create a legal cause of action for anyone whose school fails to mandate the carols. In other words, it lets people sue the schools to enforce the law.

Enter the California teabaggers, who in announcing their support for the initiative have this to say:

“Bottom line is Christmas is about Christmas,” said Erin Ryan, president of the Redding Tea Party Patriots. “That’s why we have it. It’s not about winter solstice or Kwanzaa. It’s like, ‘wow you guys, it’s called Christmas for a reason.’ ”

Ryan said Hyatt’s initiative falls under the umbrella of causes the group supports, which concern limited government, following the constitution and fiscal responsibility.

Huh!? The state forcing school children of all and no religions to sing Christian songs is “limited government, [and] following the constitution?” Subjecting recalcitrant schools to lawsuits is “fiscal responsibility?” (Never mind the irresponsibility of passing a law that would immediately be successfully challenged in court) In what universe? It’s absolutely none of those things.

Let me be clear: I think it is an unbelievably stupid idea to mandate Christmas carols in schools. But I’m not really criticising that so much as the even more insane idea that you can support that policy AND call yourself a lover of liberty. No. No. No. A thousand times No. You cannot do it. It’s one or the other. If you really are a big fan of the constitution then you would oppose this initiative even if you think legally requiring Christmas carols in school is a good idea. On the other hand, no matter how many times you blather about limited government, if you support this initiative, I call bullshit.

And that’s what I’m doing. Sure this is one story from California, but five will get you ten that if you polled every self-identified teabagger about  this initiative, ninety percent would support it. That’s because for most of them, the real issue has nothing to do with liberty, the Constitution or limited government. They have an idea of what the world ought to be like and they’ll use whatever power they can to implement it.

What is that idea? Dunno. Something to do with an imaginary view of the 1950’s, I guess. Whatever it is, it’s got nothing to do with freedom.

Karma’s Greatest Work Ever

December 10, 2009

Though that’s a bit misleading. “Karma” makes me think of cosmic forces beyond people’s control. In contrast, from start to finish, this dude was a dick all on his own:

Rod Jetton, the former Missouri House Speaker, fired a state lawmaker from his committee chairmanship in 2007 because the lawmaker had changed a bill in order to end a state ban on gay sex — or what Jetton called “deviate sexual intercourse.”

Jetton was charged with felony assault Monday after a girlfriend alleged that he had beaten and choked her during a recent sexual encounter, in which she failed to use a mutually agreed upon “safe word.”

So Palin’s A Birther

December 4, 2009

I shocked, just shocked to discover that the same woman who thinks she’s an expert on foreign policy because she lives across the Bering Strait from Russia (yet doesn’t know who the Prime Minister of Canada is), thinks the First Amendment protects elected officials from criticism by the press and who swears that if the Pledge of Allegiance was good enough for James Madison, it’s good enough for her has now explicitly joined with a group on the level of 9/11 Truthers, Flat Earthers and Young Earth Creationists.

Today’s Busybody School Board

December 2, 2009

From Vermillion Parish:

Vermilion Parish coaches are not too impressed with the Vermilion Parish’s School Board’s new policy that bans intentionally embarrassing, humiliating, harassing or denigrating a student, school employee or member of the public.

Two school board members, Anthony Fontana and Charles Campbell, have both gone on record as saying the policy is design ed to stop coaches from saying things that may embarrass or humiliate an athlete.

It looks like it will be very effective:

Each coach the [Abbeville] Meridional spoke to has no plans to change the way they coach during a game or in practice.

“This policy is typical micro-managing by politicians,” added a coach. “It is not going to change my way of coaching. If they do not like the way I coach, then I can go coach in another Parish.”

I swear, somewhere there is a spreadsheet that keys salaries for school board members and administrators to the amount of useless polices they create and hours of other people’s time they waste.

Good think I’m not a coach in Vermillion Parish, because I’m sure I probably just hurt someone’s feelings.