Archive for February 2009

I’d Trade Mine For A Couple Of Dobermans

February 26, 2009

Woman allegedly swaps children for cockatoo.

I wouldn’t really, of course. And don’t read that story unless you want to be seriously depressed.

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The Problem With Being Catholic In The South

February 26, 2009

You still have to sing crap like “Softly and Tenderly.”

Don’t get me wrong, I miss some of the songs from the old Baptist Hymnal. This ain’t one of them. Sentimental, shallow and even theologically questionable, it has all the power and insight of a monster ballad. Not even Johnny Cash could make that song endurable.

The worst part, though, is all the awful childhood church memories it brought back when we sang it at the Ash Wednesday mass last night. It’s the end of the service. You’ve made it through Sunday School. You survived the singing. The preacher has finished. You’re hungry and dying to go eat. All that’s left is the invitation for the sinners to walk the aisle and repent. And accompanying that time of invitation is either “Just as I Am” or “Softly and Tenderly.”

Each of these songs is interminable; just when you think it’s finished, you start another verse. And you never know when the preacher is going to kill the invitation. Maybe he knows he didn’t have his “A” game and stops it after two verses. Maybe he strings it out for the whole song, getting your hopes up with every chorus only to say “one more time.” Even when you reach the final verse, you aren’t truly safe. Until the last note finishes, someone could always decide to walk the aisle and then you have to start all over again.

Now this whole experience is a terrible dilemma. On the one hand, it is someone’s everlasting soul at stake. On the other, you’re hungry and ready to go. So every week, it’s “Man, I hope this ends quick, no wait, that’s wrong, someone needs to get saved. Oh, but I’m hungry, they need to make it quick.” The result is you can never leave church feeling completely happy with yourself. You’ll also never hear this song without thinking of this problem.

Anyway, even if I have to sing the stupid song that reminds of this experience, at least I’ll never have to experience it again.

I Feel Sorrier For Kenneth Than Jindal

February 25, 2009

One’s a great character on 30 Rock, the other – thanks to his stink bomb of a speech last night – is drawing comparisons to said character. Poor Kenneth. Here and here are all the relevant critiques about the end of Jindal’s POTUS dreams.

Oh well, at least PBJ got one of my favorite eatin’ places some national attention thanks to this NPR story:

At the Southfield Grill in Shreveport, La., residents have mixed opinions.

That in itself is remarkable; I’m stunned they found anyone in Shreveport who would criticize PBJ. He must have done poorly.

Plus He’s The Most Annoying D.J. In Shreveport

February 25, 2009

Hopefully this means I’ll be listening to someone else on 99x during the drive home in the afternoons:

A local radio disc jockey faces charges as a result of a two-week investigation into alleged improper Internet activities with minors.

Heath Hill, better known as DJ Skinny and host of KTUX 99X The Rock Station’s afternoon show, was arrested Tuesday on two counts each of computer-aided solicitation of a minor for sexual purposes and pornography involving juveniles and one count each of felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile and indecent behavior with a juvenile.

The 31-year-old, of the 5900 block of Manitoba in Shreveport, was arrested in the parking lot of a business at Youree Drive at Southfield Road, where he believed he would be meeting two 15-year-old girls. Instead, the Northwest Louisiana Internet Crimes Against Children Force and Caddo sheriff’s detectives were waiting for him.

Sadly, his page is still on the 99x website, which features this piece of biographical information:

People would be shocked if they knew…

My first job was being the mouse at Chuck E. Cheese.

In light of today’s news? Not so much.

New Loop At Veteran’s Park

February 24, 2009

I spent the last two days finishing some stuff we started on that work day last month and adding a few little things so that now you can do one complete loop featuring: 1) two wicked downhills; 2) two long but doable switchbacked climbs; 3) several very nice views out over the river, and; 4) the whole loop around the pond.

You’ll never ride (or walk or run) the same section of trail twice. I think it flows pretty intuitively; you won’t have to stop and guess what way to go. Just to be sure, though, I marked the new loop with Mardi Gras beads.

I don’t know how long it is, maybe a mile and a half. It’s a super nice addition to the stoner trails, which are much longer but lack the variations in elevation Veteran’s has. Next time you’re at stoner, take the paved bike path from the boat launch area towards downtown, when it goes left, follow it under northbound Clyde Fant, through the frisbee golf course and under southbound Clyde Fant. Then follow it up a little hill, veer right at the top and look for an obvious trailhead on the left just before the pond. After that, follow the beads and enjoy.

My Favorite Piece Of Mardi Gras Crap

February 23, 2009

They throw more than beads. In addition to the trash bag full of those, we caught plastic cups, frisbees, footballs, stuffed animals, doubloons, and all kinds of candy. Two other objects, though, were truly unique.

The first, thanks to the Krewe of Barbeque, was a couple of hot dogs. Allie enjoyed those.

Here’s the second:

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BFD, you say? It’s only a toy shark? Well, check out the shark’s belly:

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If you can't read it, it says: "Jack Bailey Law Corportation. Don't Get Mad, Get Even."

That is genius. Don’t run from your stereotypes, embrace them!

Parade Pics

February 22, 2009

Some of the folks who read this blog probably have never seen a Mardi Gras parade, so I thought I’d put up some pics and video (all of which are perfectly safe to view anywhere) of the two from this weekend.

Last night before the Krewe of Gemini parade:

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The theme was “Bring Back the ’80’s.”

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Waiting patiently at the Krewe of Highland parade:

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It almost looks like he’s flipping us off:

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Video from the Krewe of Highland parade:

Parade’s done and it’s time to go home:

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